American Girls Riot, Demand Jeremy’s Return
(Associated Press) Street violence and riots broke out across more than a dozen major U.S. cities last night, as American girls of all shapes and sizes marched in support of Jeremy’s return to America.
At least four people were injured after chanting and singing turned violent. The riots included random shootings, overturning cars and fires in the middle of the street. Riot police used tear gas and army tanks to stop the violence in at least ten different states.
Organized by the nation-wide We Want Jeremy’s Departure From HU And Return To the USA(WWJD-FART) movement, the campaign is trying to encourage Jeremy to come back to America. Rumors say that he will return to the United States soon, but other sources say he is a prisoner of the Hungarian girls and may never come back.
For hard-liners within the grassroots campaign, it’s hard living without Jeremy.
“The Hungarian girls have had Jeremy long enough,” WWJD-FART chairwoman Heather McStevens said during a press conference in Washington. “They might be the most beautiful girls in the world, but they must share Jeremy with the rest of us!”
In Austin, Laura Pilgrim led 10,000 women through the University of Texas campus. Many of the girls had never even met Jeremy, they’d just heard stories or seen pictures.
“I’m having a hard time living without Jeremy, I really need him in my life. He completes me,” Pilgrim said.
State Department officials insist that there will be no diplomatic pressure on Hungary to send Jeremy back to America. They note, though, that his visa will expire in July and it would be illegal for him to stay beyond the summer. And a spokesman said that Presidents Bush and Gyurcsany will talk about the issue at their upcoming summit.
But for some girls that’s too long to wait. One girl, crying during a riot in Detroit was heard singing and song that many girls are thinking.
“Jeeeeeremyyyyy! Don’t leave me.
Cause I wait for life
If zou go away, if you leave me alone here
Earth will be different, and world will be unlike as well…without me
Wait until I arrive and then wait until I’ll grow up slowly with you
And we can be together while
The sun is shning overhead
Jeremy, you must be hearing
A girl shouting from the distance like this
If you go away…
Tomorrow’s Weather Forecast
Tomorrow’s Weather will be very strange. At 6 o’clock, there will be a small tornado. After that, it will start to rain snow and after that will be shiny, warm weather. But when the shiny weather is ended, METEORS WILL RAIN FROM THE SKY, EARTHQUAKES WILL DESTROY EVERYWHERE AND VAMPIRES WILL OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES! THE APOCALPSE IS HERE!!!
Thank you for your attention, have a good and peaceful night.
Michael Jackson Arrested
Michael Jackson was a famous singer. Last year, the police arrested him, because he wrote a book about his operations. He said in the book his experiences. His experiences are terrible. The people didn’t like it and they called the police. The people didn’t want to hear about his operations, and his stories. He will be in the prison for 8 years.
The Difficult Competition
On May 21st there was the Formula-1 race in Spain. Fernando Alonso won his first race in his home. So he is the first in the drivers’ world championship, too.
But the biggest surprise was that Christian Albers, Minardi Race Team lost his way in the middle of the race. He went forward, back, but he didn’t know, where is he? He stopped at the part of the racetrack. He got out from his vehicle and asked a referee: where must I go?
The referee showed the right way for Albers. Eventually Christian Albers finished the race and placed the 17th. We can’t ask Minardi’s driver, but his manager. According to he, “Christian’s computers batteries went down. So it didn’t show the picture of the racetrack. We are working on t his problem.”
Eventually it was an excellent race – and difficult for Christian Albers.
Crazy Day at the Pool
One day our class went swimming. We went to the nudist open air bath. We were very happy! When we were tired, we will go home. But we lost our clothes. We got very frightened! The director took our clothes, because the class was very bad. Everybody came here and laughed at us. We were very angry! We never went back to school.
Teacher Fires, Fired
At the Jozsef Eotvos Gymnasium, there is an American teacher. He came from America. He can speak English and German He is a good teacher, we think. But maybe he is a super soldier who becomes a terrorist.
One day, in the English lesson, when Jeremy the American teacher came in the classroom, he shot down everyone. Then he laughed about it. Next day, he killed another class and laughed about it, etc. When he killed all the students, he killed the teachers and laughed about it. It’s a funny story because there is a lot of laughter.