BANG Galore

You've heard of Bangalore; it's hip.

Thomas Friedman's got a man-crush on Bangalore. And who doesn't respect whatever Thomas Friedman thinks?

But it's not so happening. Bangalore might well be an important "concept" and a quite livable city, i'm here to tell you that Hyderabad is the much better place for a visit. Bangalore, simply put, must be the most boring city in India.

The great course of history that has speckled Indian cities and countryside with the most amazing palaces, forts and temples in the world somehow skipped over Bangalore. Zilch. Nothing to see. Nada. The historical capital of Mysore has the palaces. Srirangapatnam has the fort. And Bangalore's temples are nothing of note compared to the rest of the Karnataka cities.

For two days, Elvin and I wandered the city, expecting untold glories, but finding -- in short -- "pleasant but less than satisfying." a leafy city with broad lanes and wonderfully temperate daytime highs. a green but less than great rose garden. a disappointingly short main commercial street. a few welcoming pubs. a relaxed ex-pat community of software/business professionals, very much more european than american. a pleasant 13th-story restaurant with good views of...a vaguely suburban city with not much of note. sure, you could see the height of the Electronic City off in the distance, but little else of note.

Through Sunday evening, we were a little low on the city. That all changed when we navigated our way to the closer of the city's two Taco Bells. The only two Taco Bells in India, new in 2010. Now, I've only been to Taco Bell twice in my entire life, but when the nearest Chipotle is in London, England, you take what you can get.

And the getting, in all honesty, was phenomenal. A delicious burrito meal. One of the best $3 purchases I've ever made. We grinned in delight, savoring each bite, certainly a site to see. The Indians were suspicious. We asked the manager when they'd open a restaurant in Hyderabad. First, he said, Mumbai. Then Delhi. Then Calcutta. Finally Hyderabad, only before Chennai. We weren't satisfied with the answer, and while eating our second burrito, we filed out comment cards demanding immediate franchising to HYD.

And later that same evening, Bangalore's second redeeming quality: Opus. We got a recommendation from a party planner, and debated not trekking half way across the city after she called to say she wasn't planning on going any more. More than glad we did, though, as the Sunday night sing-along kareoke dance party was the happiest thing i've seen on this subcontinent.

An industrial cum retro venue, ala any of Budapests fun new bars, tucked in a random pocket of the city. a great line-up of well-selected and familiar kareoke songs, sung by a variety of ages -- from 7 to 70! and a better gender ratio than any place i've seen in india. and cheaper-than-average beer! and more ghoras than they'd see anywhere outside of a consulate staff meeting! The only downside at all? Karnataka's state-wide 11:30pm shut-down time. Sucks.

Elvin and I had no choice but to continue the kareokeing the next morning in the hotel lobby.