five forks

Emily Post has got nothing on us now!

Gloria and I decided with Kaitlin and Barrett, many moons ago, that we needed some sort of coitillion to hone our skills in the fine art of statesmanship. So we signed up for the department's day-long protocol and etiquette class.

We didn't know ahead of time, of course, that our selected saturday would be the ONE sunny day in an entire two-week period of time... Nor did we know that we'd be starting class regularly at 7:30 on monday through friday... Nor did we know that at least two of us were headed to a land of finger food...

The morning focused on the finer points of offering or accepting a business card in foreign cultures and the nitty-picky nature of introducing someone to an ambassador, rather than the other way around. The afternoon, though, is when the real refining began.

We sat through an awesome two-hour presentation on formal dining. No man sits until every woman is seated. Seats alternate male and female. Napkins folded, from a center point, and placed on the edge of the seat if you have to excuse yourself. Soup scooped away from your body. American style versus continental. The toastee does not drink. Etc.

These, folks, are important life lessons. Although I might not get much of a chance to practice for at least two years. The only other consulate in town is Iran...